I’m guest blogging over on Kindred Mom for a month focused on Teamwork & Communication in parenting. This community of brave and honest mama writers moves me to laughter, tears, and reality. 

The fumbling around for the reassurance of rhythm after a new baby had begun to touch on normalcy. Every evening, I would scoop up our baby son, head downstairs, and put him to bed, while my daughter basked in individual attention from my husband – her daddy. One particular night, a semblance of life rhythm still new, I put myself to sleep while putting the baby down. Upon waking, I stumbled upstairs, bleary eyes seeking our curly-haired daughter to begin her bedtime routine, the next link in our daily loop. I’m making this work. I’m exhausted, but I’m doing it all, I told myself, marching up the stairs.

Establishing normalcy meant feeling as if our family could wrap our arms around life as a crew of four, and move forward; but this new life was also a tiring one, sometimes spent fumbling around from work to commitment to chores deeply tired, and with double the tiny humans we enjoyed had previously. My return from maternity leave the month prior had been marinated in tears (mine) and endless worry over how we would survive (also mine).

My tired mind often drifted to playing out the exhausting minutia: rise early, tackle housework, execute career work, enjoy children, manage housework, execute bedtime routine, enjoy husband time, prepare for bed, wake for midnight nursing, rise early and repeat.

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